Not Sure If This Is a Dream or a Nightmare
by XxBloodyRosaryxX
Summary: Anastasia, an 18 year old Russian girl, falls down the bunny whole-or in this case- a well, into Lothlorien. Well crap! She doesn't even know what LOTR is! All she knows is that she's surrounded by blonde girls-I mean guys-speaking...Spanish? Embark on this possibly confusing, slightly amusing, and very... interesting journey she goes on. And, besides, it's all just a dream, right?
1. Chapter 1

**So I am kind of jumping from story to story…**

**I'm writing a, hopefully, better LOTR story **

**I don't own.**

**Enjoy!**

**By the way, the name of my main character, her first, middle, and last, are all Russian!**

_**Anastasia's POV**_

This is not good, this is really, REALLY not good!

The snarling from the creepy zombie looking things behind me caused another screech to escape from my throat.

Okay, Anastasia, sing to yourself! That'll help!

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hand! If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it and you really wanna show it if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!...I'm not happy!" I squealed, jumping over a tree root and then slipping on a patch of mud.

"Yeah, that was graceful! Shizz! I'm in the Matrix!" I gasped, picking myself up and wiped mud off my face.

Whipping my head back, I heard the gross things coming closer so I did what Jesus would do; I climbed under the little cave thingy the tree made and curled up in the fetal position. I held my breath and gnawed at my dirty fingernails until they passed me by.

Their black blood/mud caked bodies and boots hopped over my safe haven and started to run. But, because I'm oh so lucky, they slowed to a stop. The thing leading the other things snapped back around and sniffed the air. He had dread locks, black skin, beady black eyes, and a white hand print on his face.

Wow. Work it, bro!

"She's around here somewhere." He gurgled and spit flew from his wormy lips, "Search for her!"

Oh no, please don't do that…

One stepped right in front of me, causing me to gasp and scurry backwards.

Bad move.

He dropped down on his knees and reached his hideous hand out and grabbed my ankle.

The rest of the zombies roared in excitement and the leading zombie grabbed me by my hair.

"Ow! Hey, let go, you-you…what the hell are you?" I kicked and shouted.

They all gave a laugh and poked and probed me asking "what is it?" and "can we eat it?".

NO!

"Oh, you wouldn't like me…I'm a vegetarian so I'd only taste like salad. Sexy beasts like you don't eat salad, right? Honking men like you want meat! Grrr!" I said in my best 'man voice'.

They spoke amongst themselves for a moment, before one let out a scream and when I looked, I saw an arrow embedded in its chest.

Suddenly, a bunch of blonde ladies burst from the thick trees and shot arrow after arrow at the scattering zombies.

The one holding me flung a few feet away and took off at a dead sprint in the opposite direction, a handful of the girls running after them.

"Hahaha, biatch! Can't touch this!" I yelled after the biggest zombie who had pulled my hair.

My victory soon came to an end when one of the women-oh, oops, they were guys-gripped my arm and dragged me up.

One asked me something, but I didn't understand it because he said it Spanish, so I answered as best I could, "No habla Español…" wow, I am the whitest person alive. The way I said it…I might as well have a sign that reads 'White washed!' stapled on my shirt.

"Do you understand Westron?" they asked in a language I actually understood.

"Er, if 'Westron' is English…" I mumbled and twirled the ends of my hair, which I'm known to do whenever I'm nervous or extremely tired.

"The Common Tongue." Another said, clearly exasperated.

"Listen, all I know is you're speaking English right now. Earlier you were speaking Spanish. Call it whatever you want! English, Westron, or the Common Tongue, it's all the same to me! Except Spanish!" I snapped and spun on my heel to walk away.

Letting out a growl, the first Blondie grabbed my arm and dragged me to the center on the Circle of Friends he had going on with the other Blondes.

"You are not permitted to leave. You have entered the Golden Wood, now you must be taken to the Lady." And with that, he nudged me forward and someone tied a blindfold around my eyes.

"Lucky for you, we are only a day's walk from our destination. If we move quickly, we can make it to the Lady by nightfall. That is if _Yrrch_ don't slow us down."

We walked a few paces before something dawned on me, "I have a bag with my stuff in it under those roots somewhere over there! Please let me take it!" a few murmurs in Spanish, someone sighing, and a blink of an eye later, I had my backpack slung over my shoulder.

"Someone check the bag. We don't know this girl and I don't trust humans like the elves from Imladris do." Leader Blondie snapped, "She could be a spy of Sauron. Or even an assassin."

Puh-leease!

"Oh yeah, dude, I'm such a huge threat. I mean, check out all of this just…huge muscles." I pointed to my pale, scrawny arms, "and check out this wicked sword." I motioned towards my hip that only had my jeans and a belt on it, "Oh wait, there isn't one!"

This got a few chuckled out of some of the people in the Blonde Squad, but the Chief Blonde just growled and grabbed my arm to lead me.

After they thoroughly searched me and clarified I wasn't a threat, we started out trek to god knows where.

Ten minutes.

We've been walking for ten minutes and already I'm bored out of my mind!

So, what do people do when they are bored and blindfolded? You guessed it!

"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe!" I continued on with the song until I realized I was the only one making noise. All of the other he-she's that were once speaking quietly to each other were silent.

"Oh that's embarrassing! How long have I been singing that? Pssh, Carly Rae Jespen sucks! I hate that song!"

There was a pause before someone said, "For someone who hates that song, she was very enthusiastic about singing it."

"Whoever said that, shut up!" I snapped and crossed my arms over my chest, "Rude! Didn't you're mother ever teach you not to tell secrets? Shame on you!" woah, this must be really funny from someone else's perspective. I mean, I'm 4'9" and I'm telling off a mountain of a dude. Plus, he has arrow, I just have…converse…and a belt.

"I would advise you not to speak that way to any of us." Some other guy said.

Ignoring him, I said, "So where exactly am I?"

"In the Golden Wood." The head honcho said.

"Is that somewhere in like, San Francisco? Or is it some exotic place in the Netherlands? Or in New Zealand?" I rambled.

"I don't know any of those places."

"Well I don't know this place."

"Lothlorien…"

"Loth-where-ian?" I stumbled over loose stones, but someone caught my shoulder to steady me.

"Lothlorien. That is the only explanation there is, other than Middle Earth." I heard him leap over something, and then I felt arms grip my waist and lift my skyward.

"I've never heard of Middle Earth."

"Where do you hail from? You're clothing is strange, you speak strange, you have strange markings on your skin, your eyelashes are abnormally long, there are black marks on your eyelids. And you have too many earring in your ears, there is an earring in your lip and one in your nose, when you were lifted up I saw a stranger earring in your stomach along with weird markings on your hips." He continued to rant about my abnormalities.

"I hail from Boston, Massachusetts on planet Earth. My clothes are normal to people there. The strange markings are tattoos-by the way, mine are small and dainty in comparison to some people-, my eyelashes are covered in mascara which make them slightly longer than normal, the black lines on my eyelids is eyeliner. I have three rings in each earlobe, and my cartilage pierced in my left ear and both tragus's. The earring in my lip is actually a lip ring and same goes for my nose being a nose ring and my bellybutton being a bellybutton ring. And there are tattoos on my hips and one on my back. But, again, all my tattoos are small." I let out a huge breath.

"Still, the only normal thing I've noticed about you is your hair and eyes." He said after a long while.

My hair is light brown with shades of darker and blonde natural highlights, it has naturally curly ringlets that go down a little above my hips and I have regular light brown eyes. Big whoop.

"And where is this 'Boston, Massachusetts from planet Earth', I've certainly never heard of it."

"Well I've never heard of Lothlorien/Golden Wood from Middle Earth." I shot back.

You know that feeling you get when you feel like you have to pee…and then you have to pee?

Yeah, that's me!

"Hey, can I take the blindfold off for a second?" I asked to no one in particular.

"No." said the ever recognizable voice of Captain Fair Hair.

"But it's important!" I pleaded.

"I said no."

"PLEASE!" I squealed.

"You are more persistent and disrespectful than a knee high elfling." He scolded.

What?

"Uhh I don't know what that means. But seriously, dude, take the blindfold off."

"No."

"I'll scream." I threatened.

"No."

"I'll bite."

"No."

"I'll cry."

"That's entertaining."

"Sadist. I'll kill myself."

"No one will stop you."

"Bitch. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll scream."

"You already said you'd do that."

"I meant it."

"Mhh, still no."

"I'll hate you forever."

"That's alright."

…

…

…

"No more threats?" he condescendingly asked.

"I'll spread rumors that you…are a woman."

"This company knows my very well. As do all who inhabit Lothlorien. I am not a woman."

"Whatever, ma'am."

I'm going to explode!

Son of a crap!

"Hey, hey you." I whispered.

"Yes?" _he _answered.

"Can you un-blindfold me now?"

"I am not going to dignify that with an answer." He said airily.

"You just answered me!"

Think of the desert, Anastasia, think of how dry and sandy it is!

Don't think of…waterfalls…

Oh man!

"Okay, okay, I'll say it. To hell with embarrassment! I really, really need to pee!" I said with an exaggerated sadness.

He sighed heavily and said, "Rumil, take her."

"What? No! He's a male! I'm a female!"

"So?" some other guy said.

"So, RAPE!" I shrieked.

There were a few light hearted laughs.

"I honestly doubt that Rumil will rape you." I heard.

"Are you implying that I am ugly?" I hissed.

"No, just that Rumil has honor and is a gentleman of an Elf." My best friend Lord L'Oreal said, "And he is my brother."

What's up with all these references to "Elves"? Santa has all of his working over time!

"Is he as joyfully pleasant as you?" I asked with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

"Fine. Rumil, don't take her." And he began to walk.

"No! Rumil, take her!" I yelled, doing the potty dance, "Or I could go right here."

I swear I've never been whisked away so quick. I would laugh, but I am so full of that Arizona tea I had a few hours back in REALITY that I can't.

"Don't look."

"Believe me, I won't."

"Promise!"

He shouted, "I promise, just go!"

"My, my, don't we have quite the temper?" I unbuckled my belt and dropped my skinny jeans to my knees and slowly tugged my underwear down.

"So I just do it in the…bushes?" I asked mainly myself.

"That is generally what we do on patrols such as this." Rumil said much kinder this time.

Well, it's now or never.

After being led back to where the rest of the gang was, I thanked Rumil and we resumed our march.

"Hey you, over there, the party's over here! We're number one, we've just begun and it is out cheer, it goes-."

"Hush!"

"Do you like waffles, yeah I like waffles, do you like French toast, yeah I like French toast, do do do do I don't know the rest do do do do, can't wait to get a mouth full of WAFFLES!"

"Be. Quiet."

"Narwhals, Narwhals, swimming in the ocean causing a commotion, 'cause they are so awesome! Narwhals, Narwhals, pretty big and pretty wide (white?) they'll beat a polar in a fight. Like an underwater unicorn, they've got a kick ass facial horn! Like the jedi's of the sea-."

"Silence!"

"When to the sessions of sweet silent thought, I summon up remembrance of things past, I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought, And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste: Then can I drown an eye, unus'd to flow, For precious friends hid in death's dateless night, And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe, And moan th' expense of many a vanish'd sight; Then can I grieve at grievances foregone, And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er, The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan, Which I knew pay as if not paid before. But if the while I think on thee, dear friend, all losses are restor'd, and sorrows end."

"Beautiful. Stop speaking."

"I like big butts and I can not lie, You other brothers can't deny, That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, And a round thing in your face, You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough, 'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed, Deep in the jeans she's wearing, I'm hooked and I can't stop staring, Oh baby, I wanna get with you, And take your picture, My homeboys tried to warn me, But that butt you got makes me so horny, Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin, You say you wanna get in my Benz?, Well, use me, use me, 'Cause you ain't that average groupie, I've seen them dancin', To hell with romancin', She's sweat, wet ,Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette, I'm tired of magazines, Sayin' flat butts are the thing, Take the average black man and ask him that, She gotta pack much back, So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!), Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!), Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!),Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back!"

"That was exceedingly disturbing. Please, stop."

"Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses… it would be unendurable. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

"I don't want to know, just kindly…shut up!"

"The rabbit's not like us. It has no history books, no photographs, no knowledge of sorrow or regret. I mean, I'm sorry, Miss Pommeroy. Don't get me wrong. You know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're horny. And if you're cute and you're horny, then you're probably happy that you don't know who you are or why you're even alive. You just wanna have sex as many times as possible before you die. I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit, you know, who never even feared death to begin with."

…

…

…

"Really nothing to say to that? Huh. Not even a "Shush!"… That's interesting…"

"Ooh ooh ooh ooh, We can do this all night, Damn this love is skin tight, Baby come on, Ooh ooh ooh ooh, Pull me like a bass drum, Sparkin' up the rhythm, Baby, come on! Ooh ooh ooh ooh, Rock my world into the sunlight, Make this dream the best I've ever known, Dirty dancing in the moonlight, Take me down like I'm a domino, Every second is a highlight, When we touch don't ever let me go, Dirty dancing in the moonlight, Take me down like I'm a domino!"

"Gag her."

I'm not entirely sure how long we've been walking, thank you blindfold, but I know that it's around evening because the air is a lot cooler, and the thick clumps of mud that were still drying are cold and uncomfortable.

While I would ask-or rather complain-about stopping anytime soon, I can't, thanks to the gag that is SO annoying.

I mean, did he hate Jessie J that much?

The group had grown considerably seeing as the handful of Blonde's that chased down the zombies came back around Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back song I sang.

Dragging my legs to match the pace of my friend the leader, I accidently stepped on my own foot and fell forward, causing the company to stop and someone to help me up.

"I can see that the girl's tired, we'll travel for at least another hour and then make camp. I'm betting she hasn't eaten today, her stomach can wake the dead." Sir Sunshine head said all snooty like.

But, we did just that, we walked on for another hour, though it felt like years to me.

Pssh, Mr. Mann, you're P.E. class didn't help me at all!

A hand on my shoulder indicated that I should stop and I was ecstatic to oblige.

"Rumil, you're standing guard. I'll take the girl. Orophin, you and any others wanting to hunt, go and find pheasants or fish for her." I yelled into the gag.

Sighing, Buddy took it out, "Can I help you?"

"Yes! I don't eat meat! I'm a vegetarian. I haven't eaten meat in 8 months and if I start know, I'll get really sick and be in a lot of pain and tomorrow someone will have to carry me because if I walk I'll die!" I gasped, working my jaw to get it used to freedom again.

"Another thing strange about you. I was under the impression all mortals consumed meat."

"You're under the wrong impression then."

"Very well, she'll eat whatever you find for us. In addition to Lembas bread, that is."

Everyone was busy bustling around, or at least I think they were…god blindfolds suck.

I felt my head bob and knew that I wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer, so I shakily laid down on the fragrant mossy ground and slipped into a light sleep.

"Girl…"

Mmhhh go away!

"Girl…"

Really, dude?

"Girl…!"

"WHAT?!"

"We have your food." The random dude snapped and then hoisted me up and took me somewhere extremely warm.

Fire!

While I love my muddy Pokemon shirt and my damp, muddy skinny jeans, I would rather not be wearing them right now.

Thank the Force that I have extra clothes in my backpack.

All thoughts of clothes left my mind when the blindfold was removed.

Blinking several times and looking away from the bright flames, I shook my head and glanced at my surroundings.

Various pairs of silvery blue, green blue, bright blue and stormy blue eyes looked back into my light brown ones.

Various manes of silvery blonde, golden blonde and even a bright yellow blonde wisped around the pale complexions of the most beautiful men I've ever seen before in my vast 18 and a half years of living.

They were all tall and lean, but I had no doubt in my mind that they were strong as hell.

And, they didn't smell! I mean, usually men who travel together in the wilderness smell, right?

"Here." The familiar sound of my Blonde leader Buddy's voice filled my ears and I had to actually put my names to the face. Admittedly, I don't remember how he looked when we first met. That and I never got a look at any of them until now.

My eyes widened at the beauty my snappy friend held! Holy crabs!

"Er, thank you. Oh! And are you a model…because you look like one. You all do!" they all gave me confused looks.

I didn't know why, until I looked at their clothing. Legging, tunics, high boots, and cloaks…

"Talk about men in tights…" I grumbled under my breath.

That wasn't even the strangest part! The craziest part was their ears! They were pointed!

"I get it now! You guys are cosplaying!" I took a bite of this weird bread stuff…my mom needs to find this recipe…

"What is that?" one of the cosplayers asked.

"Man you guys are really good. Maybe you're not models…but rather actors. What movie are you guys practicing for?" I took another bite. Crap, this is good.

Popping grapes in my mouth, I looked up for a response, but instead I got them all looking at each other and speaking softly in Spanish to each other. There were looks of genuine confusion plastered on their perfect looking faces.

"Girl, we aren't "cosplayers" or "actors" or "models"…we're Elves. Guards of Lothlorien." I'm pretty sure that was Rumil, I recognize the voice.

"No, Elves don't exist." I laughed quietly and bit into pieces of dried fruits.

"Well we exist, don't we? You are speaking with us, are you not?" My friend asked.

"Yeah, but I bet this is a dream. Or a nightmare…I haven't decided that yet." I chewed more of the bread.

He glanced at the other and slowly stated, "What happened before the Orcs and Urak-hai chased you?"

"Huh, I don't even know! So I was hiking and I saw this, like, well from a million years ago. Uh, my dad and I had just gotten into this really big fight because he found out that I declined the offer that his 'dream for me' college had sent me. I wanted to go to Boston University. The fight had me shaken up so I was crying, and my tears fell into the well, which was filled with leaf covered water, but the weird part was I thought I heard someone calling for help. I called down and then this creepy voice started freaking out about his "Precious" I leaned over the edge of the well a little too far and saw my reflection in the water. I must have been hallucinating because I saw this crazy alien looking dude behind me. When I turned to look, I lost my footing and fell in." I paused to breath.

"I guess I hit my head on the fall because I don't remember hitting the water. I only remember waking up to find those zombies a few feet away eating a baby deer. I screamed at them to stop and that's when they noticed me. I ran from them because they charged me, then I tripped and fell in mud, hid under those roots, and then you know the rest."

An eerie silence followed my monologue, but my buddy broke it offering me water.

Thanking him, I slowly drank from the skin covered flask, and then said, "Oh, by the way, my name isn't 'girl', its Anastasia. I know it's a mouthful, so some people call me by my middle name, which is Lacey. Either one works for me."

"Those are unusual names. But I am not surprised, because you-,"

"Because I'm strange, blah, blah, blah. I know!" I sighed, flashing my friend a smile.

He huffed and said, "Well my name is-,"

"Rapist!" I inserted.

"No. It is-,"

"Pedophile!" a few Elves hid their laughs.

"Silence. It is Ha-,"

"Child…Molester!" I squealed when he grabbed at me.

"It's Haldir. I'm the March warden of Lorien."

"Oh! Cool name! Well allow me to fully introduce myself!" I hefted myself up and bowed slightly, "I am Anastasia Lacey Zhivanevskaya. Yeah, it's long and weird…but I'm Russian. I just don't speak with the weird accent I was born with."

"'Tis a very interesting name. Come, you should sleep, my plans of reaching the Lord and Lady this night did not seem to work. By afternoon tomorrow, we will be in the presence of-,"

"Greatness?" I asked, cocking a brow.

"Sure."

After much arguing, and me losing, I was tied to a tree and given a cloak for warmth.

I curled into the fetal position and replayed today's events.

I came to these conclusions: one, I'm far from home. Two, I miss my parents. Three, I met zomb-I mean Orcs and Urak-hair, and Elves today…and they were real.

_**Xxxxx**_

That was really fun writing!

I know this wasn't funny, but it will be soon enough!

I'm putting a link of Anastasia on my profile…I know, I know, you'll have to do a little extra if you want to see it.

Highlight it, search it, blah, blah, blah…deal!

OH! I DON'T OWN THE POEMS, QUOTES, OR SONGS I USED!

READ AND REVIEW! LOVE YOU!


	2. Chapter 2

**Bhahahahaha…I wish I owned Lord of the Rings…son of a crap!**

**Anastasia…Lacey…anyway it's her point of view**

"Are we there yet?" I asked, now blindfolded again, but not gagged.

"No." Haldir sighed.

"Crap!" I yelped, tripping and falling on my face.

"Get up." Rumil growled, picking me up and shoving me forward.

What a pissy bitch!

I guess what happened this morning really upset him.

_Earlier that morning…_

"_Anastasia, get up. We're leaving!" He shoved my 'body'._

_Smirking down at him from the tree I sat perched in, I continued to observe him rattle my backpack and any articles of clothing I took out of it, thinking it was me._

"_Anastasia! Wake. Up!" he gasped when he pulled back the cloak to see me not there._

"_You were supposed to be watching her!" Haldir roared, storming around screaming things in Spanish._

"_Haldir, brother, I left to retrieve food for her for only a few moments!" Rumil explained, stalking after his brother._

"_Well it only took a few moments for her to flee! Find. Her."_

_Oh they would find my all right…_

_I glanced down at the small jar of tree sap I had collected and waited for the right moment to pour it over Rumil's head._

_On cue, Rumil, muttering about my idiocy, walked right under said tree and cocked his head to the side as if listening._

_Gasping, he glanced up just in time for the slow as molasses sap seep from the jar and land square on his face!_

_Globs slid over his fine features and into his silken hair and splotches of the sticky substance glued his eyelashes together into thick clumps. _

_Furrowing his brow in outrage, that two was caked in tree sap; and the best part, it slid into his mouth, too!_

_The whole group of elves froze on spot and stared at their gooey friend._

"_ANASTASIA!"_

_End of flashback…_

"Oh come on, Rumil, it was just a prank." I whined, wincing as I stepped into a puddle of mud.

I have yet to change out of my filthy, disgusting clothes into fresh ones and now my shoes-which were dry this morning-are covered in a thick layer of mud.

"A prank that offset this trek by three hours," Haldir reminded me, veering me off to the right.

"I didn't mean for it to actually hit him!" I lied, "I just wanted to scare him!"

No one responded.

XXX

We traveled on in silence for another hour or so.

The air gradually got hotter and more unbearable before I had to ask, "Is there any way I could get water into my system before I dehydrate and pass out and die?"

Someone held a flask to my lips and I drank it greedily before the person snatched it away and said, "Save the rest for later." It was said gently.

Five minutes passed.

"It's later!"

But no one gave me any more water. Aww…

XXX

I heard water thundering and crashing next to us as we traveled along the bank of a river.

"Someone throw me in…" I sighed, longing for the sun to set so I could get some relief from this weather.

"It's the middle of September, Anastasia, it is bound to be hot." The same elf that gave me water said kindly.

"I wish it wasn't. I feel like I was just thrown into a fire pit…" I moaned pitifully as I was overcome with another wave of heat.

The elf chuckled lightly and held the flask to my lips.

"Why isn't Rumil guarding me?" I gasped out, regaining my breath from drinking all the water I was allowed to consume.

"His guarding duties over you have been revoked."

"Why? Did he want to strangle me?" I joked, but when mystery elf didn't reply, I wondered…

XXX

After another half an hour of walking, I realized I wasn't going to make it to the Lord and Lady in this heat.

"How much longer?" I panted, attempting to wipe the sweat from my forehead.

I smelled bad, my head throbbed from the intense heat, my dry stomach cramped painfully, my sides burned, and it felt as if someone was sitting on my chest.

My sweat drenched body made my already tight clothing cling to me uncomfortably, it made my hair mat down against my face and the back of my neck, and it made every movement tug on the stubble I had grown on my leg overnight.

"We hope to reach them by tomorrow evening." Haldir said, heaving a sigh, "My calculations yesterday were immensely flawed. I believe I was thinking of the short travel it would have been if we traveled by horse." He sighed again, "Never mind that. Let us find a well shaded area to rest. Anastasia is but a mere mortal, she cannot withstand the heat as well as we can."

Oh thank god!

I felt tears pool in my eyes at the immense discomfort I was in.

The heat made me frustrated and tired and my legs felt like lead.

And this blindfold…wasn't helping!

XXX

It felt like an eternity before we reached a shady region that had a thick canopy of trees to give us a small amount of defense against the merciless sun.

Still, the air was hot and humid and my clothes still clung to me and my hair still plastered itself on my face, and I still smelled bad.

"Can I please take the blindfold off?" I pleaded in a hoarse voice.

"No, Anastasia, we already discussed why." Haldir replied, aggravated.

Yeah, I remember the lecture I had received after the Sap incident.

Apparently I can't be trusted.

"Then at least let me swim! It's hotter that hot out here and I feel like I'm going to die from heat exhaustion…and frustration!" I cried pathetically.

Haldir ignored me and said, "We have about two hours here. I will send a group of you to retrieve more water and then I want you back immediately. No swimming for any of you. It would take too long for us to begin traveling again."

Sadly, I dropped to my knees on the cool forest floor and laid my sweaty cheek against its chilled grassy meadow. I heard Haldir call out weird names and tell them to refill the water flasks. Then he told everyone else to give their water skins to said elves.

Groaning, I drifted off into a light, painful slumber.

XXX

"Anastasia, wake up!" I heard the familiar voice of my guardian elf wake me.

As always, his voice was sweet and welcoming and not rude and snooty like Rumil and Orophin's was.

"Mmm, hmmm?" I grimaced at the hot wind that gusted over me.

"I brought water for you. And I picked fruits that remained cold even in this weather. Hopefully it will sate your hunger and thirst when we resume our march." He said generously, "Oh and I gathered as many strips cloths as I could and soaked them in the water I have in my own canteen. I can take them out for you periodically and you can hold them against you to cool you off."

Oh my goodness gracious! I love him!

"Oh, thank you, thank you, and thank you! Where are you?" I searched for him, and when I found him, I flung myself into his arms, "You are a life saver!"

He laughed a cheery, contagious laugh that left me in a giggling fit.

"Here is some food that will, with any luck, fill your stomach to take away the empty, dry, cramping feeling you may have." He held a piece of Lembas to my lips and I bit it shyly, "Haldir has ordered me not to take off the blindfold or else I would. Sorry if this is embarrassing…"

After he said that I came to three conclusions: he is waaay nicer than Rumil, my embarrassment was gone, and he was much younger than any of the other elves.

I chewed on the bread thinking about how he felt as if he is much skinnier than the others I saw last night, he speaks with a little less formalities, and his hands were less calloused compared to Haldir and Rumil's indicating he hasn't handled a bow for as long as they have.

My train of thought was interrupted by Haldir commanding voice demanding we all get up and start moving.

XXX

I trudged along the grassy plains slowly and held a quickly warming cloth to my forehead while my savior held my hot, frizzy, sweaty hair up away from my wet neck.

"Thank you, again, for all you've done." I said.

"Do not fret. I do this because I know you must be miserable in those thick clothes. And also because I can never stand by while a woman as beautiful as yourself is suffering." He gasped at what he said.

"Did you just call me beautiful?" I asked, hoping he mistook my blush for the sun giving me sunburn.

Oh god I hope I don't get a weird tan line from the blindfold! My heart sank.

He remained silent and just gathers more of my hair from my neck and retrieved another cold cloth to plaster to the back of my neck.

XXX

I couldn't help the relieved sigh I let loose when I finally felt the effects of the sun setting.

Evening approached to slowly for my likings, but I didn't complain, because this meant that the air would be cooler and then we could do what Haldir suggested and travel as far into the night as possible.

I sensed out Marchwarden was eager to get back to his _talan_-which I found out is what Elves of Lorein live in.

Guess what else I found out today?

They don't speak _Spanish_, they speak _Elvish_; Sindarin to be exact. **(I don't know if that is the correct form of Elvish)**

The Lord and Lady's real names are Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel!

And, most importantly, mystery elf thinks I'm beautiful!

My heart fluttered at the thought.

"We are keeping on flat terrain so Anastasia can easily walk it." Haldir informed us, "I trust all of the rest of you _warrior elves _can keep walking through the night. My intentions are to rest tomorrow morning shortly so that we can, if we are lucky, reach our Lord and Lady by midday tomorrow. Though all of my intentions have gone haywire as of late, so I know not…"

And we did exactly as he said we would do.

We traveled all through the night, but I didn't complain.

And even when morning came and I felt that first ray of heat hit me, I didn't complain.

And when we traveled for another hour and a half before stopping, I didn't complain.

Hell, I didn't even complain when someone stopped abruptly and I bounced of off them and landed in dirt that showered my face and made the knee of my skinny jeans tear open.

When I did complain though, was when Haldir said, "We are traveling through our break."

"WHAT?!" I screeched, stomping my foot on the ground and seethed openly.

"I am seeing signs of yrrch nearby and I would rather not battle in this heat." He said tiredly, resuming our hike.

Yrrch? I don't know what that is, but who cares.

Tears of hindrance slipped from my eyes, but I quickly dashed them away.

But not quick enough, I guess, because…

"Lacey? What's wrong?" Elfy asked, sweeping his thumb across my wet cheek.

"Nothing, I'm just hot and," I huffed, "I get emotional and moody when I'm in heat for too long. That and when I'm…" my eyes widened behind the blindfold.

XXX

By the time I felt as if I would faint from the pain and the brutal sun, I heard my personal guard gasp and say, "I recognize the trees here! We should be there within the hour!"

If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say "we are almost there" I'd be preparing for blast off in my newly furnished rocket ship!

I deemed what he said to be true, though, because I heard the other elves sighing and murmuring happily amongst themselves happily.

And, alas, he was right!

It took us a little more than a half an hour, but eventually, I heard the voices of other elves-male and female-, I heard the elves in our group chatter noisily to themselves and new voices, and I heard Haldir say something in Spanish-er, I mean Elvish-to someone and then say to my escort to bring me before the Lord and Lady.

Only, instead of the soft, gentle, but strong hands of my protector, I felt slightly a rougher and more violent hand grab and jerk me through the crowds of elves I couldn't see. Rumil.

"Rumil, remove her blindfold." A calm, beautiful voice said from somewhere ahead of me.

I felt his fingers untie my blindfold and push me down onto my knees.

Even though it was still hot out, the slight breeze against my sweaty eyes caused me to sigh in relief; that and I even though I had to blink several times to regain my sight, it was a relief.

Oh man I probably look terrible! All sweaty and disheveled as I bet I appear to be.

"Tell me child," the woman's voice cooed, "What is your name?"

"Anastasia. Or Anastasia Lacey Zhivanevskaya, if you want all of it," I whispered, embarrassed at my appearance and not entirely sure how I should address…royalty?

"Anastasia," she confirmed, but for some reason, when she said it, it sounded like lyrics to a song, "Tell me, Anastasia, where do you hail from?"

"Boston, Massachusetts." I stole a glance at her and saw a woman with long, curly golden locks and the clearest, bluest eyes I have ever seen.

Something in those eyes told me she already knew all these things about me, so I quickly added, "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

She raised her chin and gave me a coy smile and her eyes twinkled.

"Gwendolyn, please show her to a room. Assist her in preparing for tonight's meal." She called to a, I'm assuming, servant.

Gwendolyn had straight dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes.

With a kind smile, she motioned me to follow her to a staircase that coiled around a tall tree with silvery bark.

I followed her through twists and turns and we were brought to a heavy, thick, cherry red door with a silver and pearl colored braided metal door knob.

"We have talans, but we also have rooms such as these for when Lord Elrond visits us. He prefers this. So do the elves from the woodland realms. This will be your room for the remainder of your visit."

She opened a door to a large room with a big bed in the middle, pressed up against a wall, a tall wooden wardrobe, a glass door leading to a balcony, another door for the bathroom, I presume, and a nightstand by the bed.

The walls were covered in vines that had white, blue, silver, and lavender flowers adorning it with gave off a sweet smell and there were various paintings of landscapes above the bed, on either side of the three doors in the room, and then there was a delicately carved trunk at the end of the bed.

The main colors of the room were the same as the flowers on the vines only gray was another major color.

It felt as if I were stepping into a room filled with crystal because once Gwendolyn pulled back the drapes, I really saw the beauty of the room.

There were crystal vases with huge roses protruding from them, the doorknobs were crystal, the trunk was crystal, and the bed sheets looked to be woven with crystal!

Crystal, crystal, and more crystal!

I gasped and said, "I feel so…out of place in here…"

"Well, make yourself in place!" Gwen said cheerfully.

She shooed me into the bathroom and again I was taken by complete awe.

A glass tub sat in the middle with a dozen of glass vials containing colorful liquids and a bar of light pink soap sat on the edge.

A large archway to the right of the room directed me to a mirrored room with a black wooded table sat in the middle and a plushy chair behind it sat.

There were several closet doors in front of the table that, when Gwen opened it, houses the most elegant dresses and shoes I've ever seen!

Believe me, I'm not a dress person, but these…I appreciated their beauty…

"Find one you like for this evening."

I stuttered, "No! I would look stupid in one of those! Gwendolyn, I'm not a dressy person." She scowled at me.

"Well you aren't wearing those disgraceful clothes!" she snapped, stalking towards me and lifting my shirt over my head.

"H-hey! Gwendo-! Stop!" she unhooked my bra and shoved me into the room with the tub.

Three other girls were just finishing putting boiling hot water into it and tossed rose petals in after.

Nimble fingers undid my belt and my jeans were torn from my body leaving me in my lacey blue thong.

Holy…embarrassment…

But she tore those down to and all but picked me up and dunked me in the water.

"Hot!" I squealed, "I can bathe myself, thank you very much!"

Rose smelling suds poured over my face and down my back in cold streams.

One of the other girls scrubbed my hair with immediately foamed and dirt river-ed down my body and gave the crystal clear water a gray tones.

"Ugh, Carlyselle, scrub her feet! They are so caked with grime that the water hasn't dissolved it!" the lady washing my hair scoffed and grabbed a bucket and dunked it over my head.

I coughed and sputtered on the soapy water and grimaced when "Carlyselle" scoured all the dried mud and callouses from my feet with a big brick thing.

"Merallya, wash the rest of her body, I have to get to work washing these filthy clothes!" Gwendolyn scowled at my skinny jeans and Pokemon shirt.

"Drain some on the water! She's sitting in her own mud and sweat." I'm guessing "Merallya" is the one washing my hair and "Carlyselle" is the one washing my feet.

The unnamed girl was busying herself with shaving my legs for me with this weird blade that I can't even begin to explain; but thank god they were being shaved!

XXX

After the painful bathing experience, I finally managed to get all the maids out of my room so I could relax in peace.

Glancing outside, I noticed that there was a light breeze and it was still early afternoon; I had another good two hours before the sun would start to set.

So, I dropped my oversized, thin white towel onto the ground and pranced-naked-over to my JanSport black backpack and emptied its contents onto the big bed.

Three pairs of shorts, two pairs of jeans, four shirts, a few spaghetti straps, three bras, a couple pairs of underwear, a handful of hair ties, a brush, my trusty big clear bag of makeup, a small jar containing various rings for my various piercings, a necklace my brother gave me for Christmas last year, a bobby pin, a bottle of Mango Temptation body spray, a smaller bottle of Sweet Pea body spray, a lone sock, my car keys (useless), deodorant, Burt's Bees lip balm, a bottle of black nail polish, blue nail polish, and red nail polish.

In addition to all of that, in the front pocket, there was more makeup, hair ties, bobby pins, a few more pairs of underwear, a large amount of tampons bundled together in a rubber band, a bottle of Midol, Aleve, Ibuprofen, and a small box of Icy Hot.

Crap, this bag carries a lot!

Slipping into a fresh pair of underwear and a fresh bra, I decided to wear shorts and a spaghetti strap, and slowly climbed onto the other side of the bed and drifted into a much needed light slumber.

XXX

I woke up about an hour later and stretched languidly before sliding out of bed.

Seeing that the sun was beginning to set, I danced over to my makeup bag and applied a light amount of mascara and checked in the mirror in the Fancy Dress room to see the damage the sun did to my skin.

What the-?

My skin color didn't change a bit!

Well, I mean, if it did, I couldn't tell at all.

No tan lines on my face, no redness-I lied, my cheeks were rose colored, but it looked more like blush.

Shrugging, I approached the door in the main room and pressed my ear to it.

I slowly turned the sparkling door handle and peeked down the halls before slipping from my room and closing the door gently behind me.

If I'm going to stay her a little while longer, I better get acquainted to the area more, right?

Walking cautiously down the long hall, I turned a few corners, walked down a flight of stairs, managed to avoid scattered servants, and finally, though it took a few minutes, I was out in the open air.

It cooled down considerably, but it was still warm out.

Warm enough for wearing shorts and a spaghetti strap and being comfortable in them.

And, in all honesty, I didn't remember to bring shoes, but the ground wasn't rocky and there weren't sticks jutting out to hurt me, so I half skipped and half pranced around the area until I came to a lake with rocks perfect for climbing and trees perfect for perching in.

Humming Neon Tree's song Animal, I clambered up a rock and sat down with the setting sun's reflection in the water.

"Anastasia?" I heard my Guardian Elf ask kindly.

I jumped and turned to greet him, but right when I turned and saw him, I slowed to a stop and my eyes widened.

He was gorgeous!

He stood a full head taller than me with long golden hair that reached his slender but strongly built and delicately carved waist. His eyes were forest green and captivating surrounded my long dark eye lashes and brought out by his dark eyebrows.

Much to my delight, he had his tunic opened so I could see his rock hard abs and the V his hips created. I could also see his nipp-…

Never mind.

He raised a delicate brow at me and I sputtered for a response.

"Hi?" I giggled stupidly.

"Hi." He said with a laugh.

There was a pause and then he said, "My name is Alaric."

Alaric?

That was…unusual for an elf-or was it?

"Oh! My names-you already know my name…" I blushed and hung my head.

He laughed and buttoned his tunic before asking, "How are you enjoying your stay? No one has mistreated you?"

"Oh no, not unless you count me being scrubbed within an inch of my life my various girls with long fingernails…" I grumbled, absentmindedly rubbing my scalp where Merallya's nails clawed the crap outta it.

Alaric burst into laughter and it showed off his bright white and perfectly straight teeth.

"It counts…I've been in that position countless times. Was it Merallya?" he sounded just like a teenager, but something told me he was a lot older.

"Yeah! She's evil! You know her?" I motioned for him to follow me onto the rock I had climbed earlier.

"Do I know her? She's been my nurse maid since I was an elfling." He sat next to me.

"You still are an elfling, Alaric!" a passing by Elf said and continued walking.

Alaric huffed, "When I was younger than I am now."

I giggled and he glanced at me and let fly a quick laugh.

"How old are you?" I inquired, leaning back on my palms.

"Uh, if I were a human, I'd be nineteen." I gasped.

"I'm eighteen! And a half!" he both laughed and I didn't press any farther on his Elf age.

He picked up a pebble and threw it into the water and smiled when a beaver poked its head out.

"Won't it swim away?" I asked, furrowing my brow when Alaric threw another pebble next to it.

"No, he knows I won't hurt him. All the animals in Lorien know that we will bring no harm to them." He gazed across the lake at a doe and her fawn and brought his hands up in a slight wave.

The doe perked her ear and watched him, then went back to eating.

So, he's extremely attractive and he likes animals. How much better does it get?

"We do not consume meat of any kind and we don't hunt them, so they don't fear us."

It does get better!

"I don't eat meat either…" I smiled at him and he brightened immediately.

"You don't say? So, Anastasia, what do you want to do? Oh! Would you like to meet my friends? I'm sure they'd appreciate gaining another friend their age. Male or female, they won't mind." His enthusiasm was contagious, so I jumped up and we sprinted off to find said friends.

We didn't have to run far, because sitting on the water's edge for two minutes away from where we sat, four other young elves sat looking bored.

"Alaric!" one said, causing all the other to look our way and smile.

"This is Anastasia." Alaric smiled and introduced me.

They all smiled, and unlike all the other guys in my world, they greeted me with kind eyes and no lame pickup lines.

"I'm Celtic." The first one said.

Hehe, kind of like the football team.

Football, right?

"I'm Kalrik." Another said.

"Riddle."

"Riddle?" I asked, cocking my head.

He shrugged and said, "My mom had a dog named Riddle when she lived with her friend in Rivendell. The day I was born, the dog died…my father had no say in what my name would be."

"Well I love your name." he beamed at me.

"And I'm Alladin." The last one said.

"That's Meralya's son." Alaric told me.

"Aladdin is the of a prince in my world." I laughed, thinking about the thief that married a princess and became a prince. What a cheater! He cheated at becoming royalty.

Alladin smiled and said, "Well, I like to think of myself a prince."

"I wanted you all to meet her. While out on patrol, we found her hiding from Urak-hai. I was assigned her guard after he poured tree sap on Rumil. He looked about ready to murder her so Haldir made me watch her. She doesn't know many people here so I thought she should meet my closest friends."

They all chorused shots of agreement and Celtic said, "It would be a nice change to have a female in our group. It's going to be all around the tutoring center that we befriended a female!"

"A mortal female at that!" Riddle chimed.

I guessed the "tutoring center" was school, so I didn't ask, but I did ask, "What do you guys do all day? I mean, I haven't seen anything but trees and rocks and water. And adults…"

"Well," Kalrik started, "We are usually with our tutors. If not that, we have sparring lessons. Most of our free time is spent creating pranks and attempting ridiculous endeavors. But, if we aren't tutoring or sparring, and we don't have free time, it's because we have to patrol. We are all guards, but it's only occasionally we are actually allowed to go."

"Yeah, lately, all of the older guards are forbidding us younger ones to accompany them. We aren't privy as to why…" Alladin said, sighing and running a hand through his silvery hair.

"Alaric wasn't supposed to go! He snuck off with a group and wasn't found out until later that night! His ada was furious! Oh by the way, Koal, he wants to see you after dinner in his chambers." Riddle sighed.

"Koal?" I looked up at Alaric.

"Alaric Koal Ravondir. It's my full name. My father's name is Ravondir. My mother's father's name is Koal."

I nodded and said, "I hope you aren't in too much trouble. Are you going to be okay?"

"Nah, he's in so much trouble he should just kneel over and die! Alaric, he's _livid_!" Celtic shook his head sadly, "Brother, you should have stayed."

Alaric shrugged, "Can we just do something? I mean, before I die? Lacey, what are some of the things you did with your friends?"

"My middle name is Lacey," I said to the confused friends and turned back to Alaric, "We talked about stupid girl things, played Sorry-it's a board game, I'll explain later-, we played Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle if there were boys with us, we played Seven Minutes in Heaven, again is boys were there, we ate Yogurtland constantly, we swam…I don't know, we did a lot." I ticked my fingers off.

"Truth or Dare?" Celtic asked, "That sounds interesting."

"It's so fun! So how we played was we spun a bottle, whoever it landed on would have to pick either truth or dare. The person who spun the bottle would either give them a dare if they chose dare or ask them something if they picked truth and the person answering has to answer in complete honesty, if they don't…then they are liars and they suck as a person. Get it?" thankfully, they did.

"We need a bottle." Kalrik stated sadly.

"Let's find an empty bottle, then." I said.

"Hey, you know what would be even better? If we found a full bottle." Riddle smirked evilly.

"How?" Kalrik asked, furrowing his brow.

"Because we could drink what's in the bottle!" Alaric gasped, "Riddle, you genius!"

Riddle gave a dorky smile and bowed, "I know, I know…"

I scurried after the five boys and scanned the area to bookmark all the places I found interesting.

Not looking where I was going, I barreled into Alaric who stood facing me with all the others surrounding him.

They all wore evil looks.

"Now, my dear Anastasia, you, in order for you to become a legit member in our group, you must pass initiative. We all had to do something embarrassing, dangerous, risky, or sneaky. Because you are a girl, and usually embarrassing things involved nudity, we are excusing you from that. What we have planned for you is a combination of risky, dangerous, and sneaky." They all gave a laugh, "Your job is to sneak into Orophin's chambers and steal his bottle of Dorwinion wine he keeps under his bed. The dangerous part is he's in his bathing chamber and the door is open. Figure out a way to retrieve the wine and get out of there before he catches you. Believe me; you don't want him to see you."

I took a deep breath and said, "I accept my mission."

They all nodded simultaneously and, in unison, they motioned for an opened window.

Orophin's open window…

As quietly as I could, I climbed in the window and tip toed across the room and knelt down by the bed and looked under for the wine.

Just then, I heard Orophin stop whatever he was doing and call out, "Is someone there?"

I threw myself under the bed and held my breath and closed my eyes, but not before seeing the elf walk out of the bathing chamber in only his leggings.

He huffed and walked to his bed and removed his leggings and combed his hair and tied it up on his head.

Reaching in a drawer, he took out another pair of midnight blue leggings with silver threads along the sides and threw them over his shoulder.

Ew! His butt is really white.

Well, then again, so is mine…

He opened up his wardrobe and grabbed a silver tunic and then he walked back into the bathroom.

I waited until I heard someone stepping into water before I slowly dragged myself out and made a mad dash for the window.

"Who goes there?" Orophin shouted, sitting upright in the tub.

So filled with adrenaline at the thought of doing something against the rules, I didn't stop to answer and nor did I stop to slowly go out the window. Instead, I leapt out of the window and into Alaric's arms, with the bottle of wine in my hands.

XXX

"Oh, Ana, you are so in our group!" Alaric said as we all settled down in a circle on the rocks Alaric and I sat n earlier.

"Well then I guess now is a good time to say: Mission Complete!" we all laughed.

Celtic popped open the bottle of wine and said, "Boys, I think the first drink goes to our beloved little sister, Anastasia! Welcome to our Brotherhood!"

"Woah, I've never had a drink before…well here goes." I took a swing and swallowed the strong liquid.

"It was good." I choked out in a hoarse voice.

"You'll get used to it." Riddle smiled and gulped down a fairly large amount.

We went in a circle of me, Riddle, Cletic, Alladin, Kalrik, and then Alaric.

By the time that the bottle was finished, I was definitely tipsy.

Apparently elves have a higher tolerance of alcohol, because the others were fine. They only felt more relaxed than usual.

Swaying a bit, I leaned on Alaric and said, "I'll spin first."

The bottle spun and spun until it landed on Alladin.

"Okay, Alladin, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

I smiled, "Okay, are you a virgin?"

Blushing, he said, "Yes."

"Loser!" I pointed at him.

He reached out and spun the bottle.

It landed on Cletic.

"Celtic, truth or dare?"

"Truth…"

"Oh god you pussies, just pick dare!" I shouted.

"Okay dare-," Celtic began, but I cut him off.

"No, shut up. You already picked truth. On with it Alladin!"

"When I went to your talan that one night for help with our arithmetic and you said you couldn't because you had a friend over…was Ellaynia the friend?"

Celtic blushed crimson and nodded.

"Get some!" I laughed and tipped forward.

Celtic spun the emptied bottle until it landed on Riddle, whose eyes widened.

"Truth…"

"Pussy." I growled, grabbing onto Alaric's hair and twisting it between my fingers.

"Was it you or Alladin who told Ellaynia that my father caught her sister and I, er, groping each other?"

"Oh, I did it…" Riddle looked down at his hands; away from Celtic's death glare.

"Please tell everyone here that I WAS NOT touching her sister at all!" Celtic snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his nose of the air.

"He was not caught fondling her breasts or pinching her backside…" Riddle sighed, "Except he was…" the last part he whispered.

Before an argument could break out, I threatened that is he didn't spin the bottle, I was going to castrate him forcefully in front of all his friends and family.

He spun.

And it landed on…me…

"Dare!" I jumped up and down and braced myself for what was to come.

"Allow me to speak with my friends on the topic of this…dare…" Riddle smirked.

The whole group of guys spoke, except Alaric and Kalrik because they were "failures" according to Celtic.

"Okay, little Ana, I have decided," he said over my growl of "little Ana?"

"Sock it to me, bro!" I challenged.

"Alright, kiss Alaric."

**XXX**

**All done! With this chapter!**

**I apologize! Between it being the end of the quarter at school, it took me forever to finish this…I realize that.**

**R&R!**


End file.
